Core De-escalation Skills

1. Stay Calm

• Practice deep breathing if the situation intensifies.
• Keep your tone low, earnest, and polite.
• Pay attention to your verbal pacing.
  • Are you leaving the customer room to speak? Are you pausing before responding? Are you speaking too fast? Too slow?
• Keep neutral language and avoid blaming the customer.

2. Active Listening

• Body language
  • In person:
    • Make eye contact.
    • Take a non-threatening stance.
      • Do not cross your arms or put your hands on your hips.
      • Do not point at the customer.
  • Over the phone:
    • Without interrupting, occasionally use phrases like “oh,” “I see,” or “yes.”
• Paraphrase their concerns and validate their feelings.
  • Use empathy phrases such as: 
    • “I understand how frustrating this is.”
    • “Let’s work through this together.”

3. Give Choices and Restore Control

• When people feel powerless, they react. Give them options to help them feel in control.
  • Offer them small options:
    • “Would you like a refund or a store credit? Whatever works best for you!”

4. Know Your Boundaries

• Recognize when the behavior crosses a line.
• Know when to involve a supervisor or professionally disengage.

The next module discusses a de-escalation framework model that can be used in intense situations with customers or clients.